ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
