ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
