What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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