i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
