oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
