Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
