Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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