But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
