I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
