I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
