Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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