you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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