He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize