idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
