covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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