I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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