I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
