I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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