If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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