On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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