I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
