i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
