I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
