...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
