Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
