Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
