is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
