He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
