it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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