Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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