Banned from zoo.
Again?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
