you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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