at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
