he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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