Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
