Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
