yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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