My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
