Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
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Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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