Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
