dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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