Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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