The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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