My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
