The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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