Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
