The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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