i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Operation Purity has been aborted
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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