He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
