I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
