let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
