I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
