Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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