I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
