I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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