Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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