I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
