wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
