You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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