he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
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You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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