apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
