He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just puked most of my soul out..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
