this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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