If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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